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Science. Fair?

Have you ever taken part in a science fair? I know that I have.

I hate them.

Ever since you were in grade one, you were taught the basics of science. You know, purpose, hypothesis, materials, method, observations, conclusion, and the newest one, application.

If you do this at least once a year for 7+ years, this can get extremely boring. The science fair takes this universal discomfort, and amplifies it by 890%. Now, instead of just doing a simple and easy science experiment, that you only have to take the occasional notes on, now you are thrust into the strange world of intimidating things like backboards. And judges.

In other things, you can muddle your way through, and hope that on one notices. In a science fair, however, you have no choice. You actually have to do something. There’s no hiding from it. Every science fair project is basically the same. There’s no variety. Always same old same old. Please see the picture below.

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First, you have the tedious task of choosing a project. It can’t bee too hard, but it has to look hard. Not an easy task. Even so, this is the easy part.

Once you have you’re perfect project chosen, you have to gather everything you need. If you chose a good project, this shouldn’t be too hard. It’s even easier if you have a partner, because they can get stuff, too. Make sure you record every step of this down, because you can turn it all into a log book. That’ll make it look even better

Now comes the time to do you’re carefully chosen experiment. Make sure you do it right, and take lots of pictures. Pictures are important. If you don’t have a camera, you could always ask to borrow one from your kind and loving teacher. If you’re teacher isn’t kind and loving, it’s probably best to avoid asking.*

Now comes the part that I loath. You have to buy a backboard, and you actually have to decorate it. Whee. Make sure you make it colorful and pretty, including those carefully taken pictures you took earlier. You must include on your backboard, your title, and…

Yes. Purpose, hypothesis, materials, method, observations, conclusion, and application. Oh, the horror. Being science, the sciencey people in power have decreed that you have to include all of that.

Well I don’t have much against science fairs themselves, but I think that they are way too rule-based. You have to have a backboard. You have to have the seven steps of science. Why? Why can’t you not have a backboard, or even have something that will make the whole thing stand out more. Like a power point presentation running on your laptop. I’m not saying that the way we have science fairs now isn’t wrong, I just think that we could do without the seven steps of science. Enough already.

If you thought that you could escape them, you are wrong. They will always find you. Of course, the excuse that every teacher uses is, ‘these are the steps that every scientist uses.’ That ruined my lifelong goal of being a scientist. If those things were in actual science, I was no way going to do them for the rest of my career. That was asking too much for I guy who doesn’t like the seven steps of science.

Thank you, science fair for ruining my dream job.

Now what do I do?

Well… I guess I could always find something sciencey that doesn’t involve the seven steps, like, work in the field of astronomy and the world ending and all that. That always looked like fun.

https://i2.wp.com/www.anthroblogs.org/nomadicthoughts/archives/maya_cartoon.JPG

But even so, after all the years of doing the seven steps of science, you would think that they would think to change it up a little.

Seriously.

*I’m not saying that my teacher isn’t kind and (or) loving. Just thought I’d add that.

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